


Pride

by Thechargingsky



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Boys In Love, Fluff and Angst?, Introspection, M/M, Pride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-04 20:32:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18612001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thechargingsky/pseuds/Thechargingsky
Summary: David has his reasons why he doesn't want to go to Pride, but knows Patrick wants to go. Part of being in love is doing things for the ones you love, right?





	1. Before

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this prompt on Tumblr and decided to write something. This is unbeta'd and barely edited. I hope you enjoy!

David had no interest in attending Pride, he told Patrick, claiming allergies to large crowds, the outdoors and copious amounts of _brave_ fashion choices that would “offend his eyes and fashion sense”. In actuality, all of David’s memories of Pride were tinged with hurt. He would attend in New York every year with his friends who were really only around because he supplied all the drugs and booze. Every year he’d get a quick fuck (or three) from someone who wanted to “experiment” because hey, it was Pride, so why not? After every late June night, he always felt...empty. That emptiness wasn’t a new feeling for him, but it felt extra loud in midst of a celebration of love and community. To him, Pride just always reaffirmed what he knew deep down. David Rose is not loveable. He’s fuckable. A novelty. An itch to scratch.

 

So when Patrick asked him if he’d ever been, it took everything in David’s power to not completely shut him out. Even though they were engaged and living together, David still didn’t feel comfortable disclosing the details of his extremely painful and, to be honest, embarrassing past to Patrick. Deep down, David was still afraid that good, sweet Patrick would realize that all of _this_ was just too much. Maybe one disclosure too many would be the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.  Some nights when he was filled with anxiety and self-loathing, he would lie there while Patrick peacefully slept curled up next to him and wonder when the other foot would drop. When he would regret making the “easiest decision” of his life and begin to resent David and those four beautiful rings. Logically, David knows this is just his anxiety talking, his old insecurities rearing their ugly head while David felt safest.  But still.

 

One night over dinner, Patrick asked David if he had ever been to Pride. After all, he lived in New York for years and ran with a thoroughly cool and queer crowd, he must have. Once Patrick asked David, he almost immediately regretted it when he saw an all too familiar flicker of pain and shame in David’s eyes before it was masked with the studied indifference he used as armor. That armor was familiar to Patrick, David used it when faced with an especially painful memory of his life before Patrick, before moving to Schitt’s Creek. Patrick didn't want to push him but was surprised when David asked Patrick if he wanted to go. Patrick wasn’t surprised that David (correctly) assumed he had never attended.

 

Patrick wants to go to Pride. He is finally, after thirty years, truly living. He told David that he's never gone, that the closest he got was in college, when Rachel suggested they go because the closest Pride parade to them was basically a giant street party. That it would be "fun" and "different". He made an excuse that he couldn’t go (something about homework), much to her chagrin. In reality, Patrick didn’t want to go with Rachel. He knew deep down their engagement, their whole _relationship,_ wasn’t right and if they attended Pride, Patrick would finally realize why. And that terrified him. So he never went.

 

Hearing Patrick’s disclosure broke his heart, and David made the decision. They were going to Pride. This is a new chapter of their lives. They can put all that hurt and pain behind them and move forward. After all, they’re engaged now.

 

So on Saturday, the busiest day of the week, they closed the shop and drove the nearly two hours to the closest Pride parade. David refrained from making any snarky comments about how it would probably be _much_ less eventful than the ones he attended in New York because he knows how important this is to Patrick. It’s not just his fiance’s first time at Pride, it’s an open declaration that Patrick Brewer is finally living the life he always knew was right.

 

Patrick knows what a sacrifice this is for David. He knows there’s a deeper reason behind the hatred of crowds, outdoors and loud polyblends, although he knew all those were true as well. But he didn’t push it, knowing David would tell him when he was ready.

 

Patrick looked over at David, sitting comfortably in the passenger seat of Patrick’s car, wearing his usual monochromatic sweater and jeans ( _“Puh-lease, Patrick. Just because we’re going to Pride doesn’t mean we’re wearing fucking rainbows. That’s very offbrand.”_ , he said that morning as they were getting ready). David was looking at something on his phone and his engagement rings caught the light, looking impossibly shiny. Patrick reached over, grabbed his hand and squeezed. David looked away from his phone and at his smiling fiance. In that moment, his nerves dissipated. It was all going to be okay. Maybe he’ll tell Patrick the real reason why he was so hesitant tomorrow when they’re back home in bed, but today is for Patrick. David knows how much this means to him. This is his life now. This is _their_ life now.

David smiled back.

This was going to be okay.

He still wasn’t happy about the thought of all the loud patterns and polyblends though. Hopefully someone will be selling pretzels. 

 


	2. After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pride was everything and nothing like both of them expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After all of the nice comments, I decided to write part two. Again, this is un-beta'd and kind of word vomited out (being in grad school and having finals really makes it easy to focus on everything else you've been putting off the rest of the semester).  
> I love how supportive this fandom is

David’s nerves returned once Patrick parked and they got out of the car. He felt itchy on the inside, like he was ready to crawl out of his skin. The closer they walked, the louder the bass of the current Madonna song playing ( _“Of fucking course they're playing Madonna._ ”, David thought with an eyeroll), the more he wanted to turn back around and go home. Home to Schitt’s Creek and the store and their apartment where he could burrow into Patrick’s arms in their warm bed. Patrick who smelled like Old Spice and the 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner he used, despite David's many attempts to get him to change products. Patrick whose fashion sense (if you could even call it fashion) consisted of mid-range denim, button downs and sweaters with white shirts underneath. Patrick who made David feel warm and _squishy_ in a way he'd never felt before, and he's done Molly multiple times. Patrick made him feel safe and happy and he would do anything for him. Hence why he's here. At Pride. 

David didn’t want to be here, didn’t want to be faced with his past life, reminders of his loneliness and deep sadness that all the drugs, alcohol and randoms couldn’t fill. He’s not afraid of running into an old random, logically he knows while it’s not _impossible_ , it’s improbable.

He’s just...doesn’t want to be reminded of his life before Patrick, even before Schitt’s Creek. Patrick brought joy and sunshine and stability into his life. Patrick made David feel loved, wanted, _valuable_. Patrick serenaded him in front of an audience, fought to earn him back after the Rachel Incident. Patrick was kind to Alexis even when David wanted to smack the shit out of her, he got along with his mom, which is a feat in of itself. He talked to his dad about the business and shared an understanding of what it was like to love someone so uniquely...David and Mrs. Rose, respectively.

When Patrick asked David to marry him, that wisp of doubt crept through, even after two years of solid, steady love (he ignores the week-long break after the Rachel Incident). So yes, things aren’t perfect. But they’re pretty damn close, and David doesn’t want to be reminded of the nights alone he spent in his big apartment, the shitty relationships, his friends who dropped him the minute he lost the money, his fake patrons at his galleries.

He hates remembering a time when he barely spoke to his family, even though he would never admit it. It took opening Rose Apothecary and meeting Patrick for David to realize that all of those years, he wasn’t really living. He was just existing. It’s not often you get to rebuild your life, and David is so fucking thankful for every minute of it. It still doesn’t make the past any less painful though, and nothing could remind David of that fact more than right now. 

David can feel Patrick’s excitement radiating from him. On the drive there, Patrick asked David a few questions about his past experiences at Pride, but nothing too deep because Patrick _knew_ David and knew that while there was pain from David’s past, he was willingly going because Patrick wanted to. There were times in their relationship that Patrick was overwhelmed by the magnitude of his feelings for David, the utter _rightness_ of it all. This was one of them. He knew this was a sacrifice for David and wanted to make this a great day for both of them.

In a sense, this was David’s first Pride, because David is no longer the prickly, lonely, and to be honest, sad man he was before Patrick. Yes, David was still David, but his sharp edges were softened. He smiled more, with his actual teeth, not just the smirk and side pucker he wore when they were initially dating. David finally knew what is was like to love and be loved. He felt more comfortable in his own skin and had a real sense of self and purpose that he never had before.

While Patrick is excited, part of him is nervous. He’s afraid it’s going to be too much for David, that David will resent him for going. The crowds, the noise, the “incorrect” fabric blends. Patrick doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s also nervous that David will be reminded of his past, much more fast-paced life. Patrick knows David loves him and the life they’ve built together, but sometimes he’s reminded that prior to meeting Patrick, David lived a much more exciting life than anything Patrick could ever give him. Realistically he knows they built roots in Schitt’s Creek, but sometimes Patrick’s brain gives into his irrational fears of David waking up and realizes he wants more than Patrick, more than a man who took _thirty years_ to realize he was gay. Patrick never imagined he would ever be this happy and never wants to go back to the shell of a life he had before David.

Ever the pragmatist, Patrick shook those whispers of doubt and shame out of his head. He spent enough years living in the shadows, living an inauthentic life filled with an indescribable loneliness and melancholy. He knew that only time would heal those wounds and insecurities, for both of them. They had each other, and that’s all that mattered.

Patrick held David’s hand as they approached the busy street, noticing him tighten his grip. Patrick gently squeezed it back and ran his finger over the ring finger that bore two of the four engagement rings. As Patrick stroked David’s finger, willing him to relax and breathe without speaking a word, David was once again awash in his love for Patrick. Patrick knew him, was able to read him without hearing a word from David. Tears stung at the corners of his eyes and David willed them away because he would not cry at a fucking Pride parade. He looked to his left and caught Patrick’s eye, leaned down (god he loved their height difference) and kissed him. David tried to pour all his love and light into the kiss, knowing Patrick could sense his nerves disappearing and being replaced with healing, of old wounds knitting closed and becoming something new and tender. Patrick broke away first, his warm honey eyes looking at David like he hung the moon. David smiled back, a full smile, teeth and all. They started walking. It was all going to be okay.

Hours later, Patrick drove them both home, with David passed out in the passenger’s seat, tired from a day full of crowds, walking, loud music and copious amounts of pretzels and fried food. Patrick rarely got to observe David like this, they normally fell asleep at the same time. He looked peaceful and happy, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Patrick felt the same, happy and relieved he was able to finally experience a Pride celebration with his fiance. He loved walking hand in hand with David, stealing kisses in between bites of pretzels (both of them) and making snarky comments about attendees’ fashion sense (David). Patrick Brewer was truly living after thirty something years and it only took leaving everything behind and moving to a small town with a weird name. He looked over at his fiance, lightly snoring in the seat next to him, smiled and turned up volume in his car, wanting to listen to something other than the pop divas David, and unsurprisingly Pride parades, prefer.

Patrick once again was struck by how _right_ he felt. He couldn’t wait for next year. Hopefully he’ll have a matching ring by then.


End file.
